Letting Go

The boxer's in the back yard barking, but I can't be bothered to go out there and tell him to be quiet. For some reason, my concern that he'll disturb the neighbour is not present this morning. Perhaps I've let go of my fear that they'll call the dog patrol who will come by and leave a threatening note on my front door.

Letting go is an interesting process. I am more of a let go-take it back-let go-take it back-someone pry it out of my hands-kind of person.

I was thinking about letting go in the middle of the night last night. Our house is still on the market, still unseen by the one person who will fall in love with it and buy it out from under us at the price we want for it. We don't have to sell, we want to sell because we want to move somewhere else, start a new lifestyle, and I, for one, have been drooling to get it over and done with since the inception of the idea that we would move to Napier.

Unfortunately, I have no control over this house business. I've tormented myself by looking at other homes in the region we want to move to, but realistically, we can't do anything until this place sells. I've prayed that God would release the home in Napier, that the house here would sell, that it would go quickly, we've done our homework and advertising, and the agent is holding open homes, but I can't do a darn thing about the market or the timing.

Not only does the move to Napier represent a new lifestyle opportunity, for me, it represents something to look forward to.

Which creates a dilemna for me. If I let go, what will I have to focus on other than right here, right now? I'm not good without a vision. If I don't focus on the move, perhaps I'll miss opportunities that just waiting it out and seeing would miss. If I focus too hard, I get frustrated.

A veritable Catch-22.

So, sometime between 2am and 3am, I decided I needed to let go. To let this thing happen in its own time, to trust that what we are looking for will happen.

I'll let you know if I pick it up again.....or, if I sign up for that technical writing course I've been checking out, or, if in a fit of frustration, I run away somewhere.

Anything's possible.